Anyways, just had another midterm this morning... woke up late (naturally) and rushed to school not even caring how I looked like. Ok, maybe I did. But just a little. hahahaa.

Just realised my blog has become less and less personal and more and more general. Almost as if I am always talking about nothing at all, about the same old stuff, posting pics so that I don't have to say anything, and not updating when I don't feel like saying anything, and carefully filtering anything that I don't want to be read by just anyone.

Which sort of defies the whole purpose of blogging. I used to be able to share myself with my friends through blogging. I was able show joy, sorrow, anger, boredom, astonishment - jst about anything. But right now, I hesitate to do all of that. It just feels weird to have some unknown person read about my deepest fears, my innermost thoughts and my carefully guarded secrets. It makes me feel vulnerable to know that anyone can learn so much about me, merely by reading what I wrote on my thoughts and emotions.

I wonder if anyone will truly understand another. I have a lot of close friends, but those that truly know me well - know how I am feeling and what I am thinking the moment they look at me or the moment they listen to me - I have to say that the number is a small one. And I would assume that this is true for most people.

After all, people are such complex creatures. Can anyone truly understand another? Can anyone even truly know themselves? It has never failed to amaze me when someone totally unexpected tells me something about me that I myself never knew existed. And I actually enjoy the process of discovering myself - flaws or good traits. And the process of discovering oneself isn't something you can finish in a day. It is a lifelong process. And you constantly change with new experiences and environments, and hence, your Self is an endless reinvention process.

Hmmmm... I'm not sure where I'm getting at. But I know that I do like to discover traits about myself, sometimes I discover them on my own, or when someone relates it to me. It is interesting to reflect on what you have done and decide whether if you WERE what you think u were, or what other people thought you were.

And it is also interesting to come to a certain point in life and realise... that you are different from who you used to be. That you have changed, for the better or for the worse.

And the funnest part about growing up is looking back and laugh at how silly you used to be. There are on many occasions that I am reminded of things that I have done in the past that I am nowhere near proud of. I look back and laugh at the silly little gurl I was back then. And I bet, 20 years from now, I will look back and again, laugh at the silly little gurl I am today. Haha, I am looking forward to that.

Hmmm, on second thought, maybe not. Haha.

Yawn... think I need a nap right now. Lol. Tata.

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