If I hadn't changed my plans, today would've been my last day of work. I would be flying tomorrow night for Malaysia. And I probably wouldnt be blogging here because I would be stressed out packing everything I need at the last minute. Lol.

Oh well, one more month to go. And as I am repeatedly told.. Enjoy myself while I am here! Do not take it for granted! No regrets!

And you know what, I think I have really taken everything for granted. Me being here. And I had to be reminded that everything that I have is a blessing. A gift that not everyone was as lucky to have.

I remember a conversation with a friend. It happened quite a long time ago... maybe last year? Or the year before? I think it was last year.

I remembered that I wasn't feeling contented with my life. I envied people around me. People with this. With that. Born like this. Born with that.

Why wasn't I born rich like them?

Why didn't I have nice and long legs like her?

Why wasn't I making as much money as everyone else?

Then my friend called me. Out of the blue. I hadnt spoken to him in months. We used to be close.

He called, and we talked. His life was down in the dumps. Everything was going wrong for him. As wrong as it can get. Just listening to his story felt like I was watching a soap opera.

And then he said: "Tim, sometimes I wish I was you."

Those words hit me like a huge smack on the face. It was a wake up call.

Here I was. Envying others. Wishing my life was better.

And there he was. Envying me. Wishing he was living my life.

I've never forgotten that conversation. Even though we never talked about it anymore, I always remembered it. It was one of the most compelling words anyone has ever said to me.

Everytime I started to feel negatively about my life, I would recall those words and remember that I should feel grateful for everything that I was blessed with.

On a side note, my grandmother's illness has taken a downward toll. Her tumour has grown again, which means that the radiotherapy sessions could only temporarily control her tumour.

I know my dad is very sad about it. And when I think about how sad my dad is, I feel sad too.

We're not sure how aggressive the cancer will be, but at this time, my aunt is giving my grandma about one to two years. It is difficult to predict anything at any point. It is, after all, cancer that we are talking about here.

My uncle says that my grandma is lucky to have time to "say goodbye". His mother recently passed away due to a sudden brain infection. She fell into a coma one day and never woke up. She never got a chance to say goodbye.

I think when I die, I would like to be able to say goodbye. And then die a peaceful and painless death. Yes, that would be ideal.

But who am I to choose how I would leave this world forever?

Life is such a precious thing. I dont know how anyone can choose to rid themselves of such a precious opportunity to explore the world, people, and emotions. And to put their loved ones through utter grief and remorse over their loss.

The pain of losing someone so dear to you is already undescribable. And to know that the someone you cared for so much actually chose to part on their own terms.

I shudder everytime that thought enters my mind.

And that is the beauty of life. What you see and learn from others allow you to appreciate what you already have.

Everyone has their way of living. That is how the world works. Everyone does their own thing and complements each other. Laissez-faire.

The person you envy may envy you in return. What you think are flaws may actually be someone else's desire.

Oh well. Enjoy yourself. Do not take everything for granted. Live life with no regrets right?

*winks*

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