So. It is already September. Feels weird not to be going back to school with everyone else. I have to keep reminding myself that I am no longer a student and is now an adult who has to stop prolonging her entry into society in the real world.

Today I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop and saw all these young people clad in jeans and sweaters carrying backpacks and books. It felt so surreal when it hit me (yet again) that I am no longer one of them.

It was weird. Very weird. Feels weird to look at students from another perspective, now that I am looking inside from the outside.

It probably doesnt really make a huge difference, but somehow, I can sense a change. Maybe it is an inner change. The way I feel. The way I think. My priorities. My responsibilities.

Now when I go shopping, I feel the need to resist myself from buying hoodies, denim wear and all the pretty but casual wear you can think of. Why? Simply because I am now entering a different phase in my life where I would frequently be required to wear attire that is at least business casual.

Which is another thing to think about. Are we expected to dress our age? Although most people would consider me young, I would consider myself as ... not young anymore. lol. (I don't think I'm qualified to be labelled as old, am I?) I don't think anyone would find me odd if I continued wearing jeans and a hoodie.

But say, my grandma, who wears floral long-sleeves silk shirts all the time. I think she looks downright weird, but if she started wearing jeans and a tank top, I would definitely be doing a 20-minute jaw drop.

Then again, the unconscious need for me to distinguish myself from high school kids would probably cause a self-inflicted change in style. (I hate high school kids, can't stand them.)

I know, it's weird. When I was in high school, I always thought it would be cool to be loud and funny and do crazy stuff. I remember I used to take the LRT (skytrain) to school and back everyday, and everytime the train came to a halt, my friends and I would actually hop from one carriage to another. Back then, I would feel the rush of excitement as we attempted to get back into the train before the doors closed on us. I remember being pulled out from the train once for eating an ice-cream cone. And the next day, I ate an ice-cream cone on the train without a fear in the world. Oh yeah, it was all about breaking rules back then.

Now, looking back, older people would probably think that we were being stupid and annoying. A senior prefect actually told us to stop embarrassing ourselves, but we just laughed him off. hahaa.

But yeah, when I got to college, I thought high school kids were selfish little brats and thought that I was way more matured or sophisticated. And then just earlier this year when I went back to Malaysia and ate lunch at Medan near Sunway College (good memories) and saw all these college kids, and I thought to myself: "Wow, these self-centred egocentric pricks." lol.

Ah, the humour in irony itself. I suppose that in the end, it is my current self who is the self centred bastard with the perceived notion that she, who has transitioned into a different stage in the cycle of life, is much wiser and far more experienced. ahaha.

We often stereotype groups of people. But, who's to say that a high school kid can't be matureD? I happen to know a number of people who are pretty matured for their age. And also know a bunch of people who are retarded for their age. *shrugs*

Oh well. All I can say is, I've learned not to fast forward any chapter of my life. That there is only one chance for you to grow up. Live it like there's no other day. Take it easy and just enjoy the moment.

I miss being a student.

But most of all, I miss being a child.

Wish I was a child again.

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