For a moment I started to panic.

Panicking at the thought of all the stuff that I intended and had to do before I left. And at how little time I actually had.

Gulps.

Gosh, it suddenly feels surreal. Even though I say I will be coming back in 6 months, it still feels as if I will be leaving Vancouver for good. And with that, I feel the need to settle unfinished business, such as locking in my mortgage, fixing stuff around the house, etc.

Omg. Suddenly I feel so stressed out lol!

I've been downloading alot of movies for the past two days, definitely in anticipation of the supposedly near non-existent internet connection in Malaysia. ><

Movies I downloaded:

1) Gangs of New York
2) The Good Girl
3) My Big Fat Greek Wedding
4) The Hours
5) The Reader
6) Finding Neverland
7) Little Children
8) Confessions of a Shopaholic
9) Closer
10) Twilight
11) He's Just Not That Into You
12) 27 Dresses
13) Moulin Rouge!

Still trying to think of what movies I feel like watching. I want to watch more chick flicks because I personally love chick flicks that make me laugh and cry!

Anyway, everyday people are bombarding me with questions like:

"What are you going to do?"
I don't know...

"Have you started looking for a job?"
No...

"Well, do you know what kind of job you want?"
No.. I don't know..

"Well, what do you know?"
You know, that's a good question.

Seriously. I don't know. Life is pretty much a blur to me right now. Everything is up in the air.

I tell different people different things.

"I will be travelling..."

"I'll go back and see how things are..."

"I'm gonna be tutoring English."

"I will be learning Chinese."

Honestly, I am one with a zillion and one plans but uncertain on which one to go with.

I really, really, really, hontoni (Japanese for "really") don't know what I want, or what I will be doing. ><

The other day as I was watching TV, I suddenly had this weird image of myself being 45 with no career and no savings.

It was not fun, I tell you.

That made me really worried for a split second. Ok, it actually got me worried all night. Lol.

Finally, I decided to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic to keep my mind off things. Good ole light-hearted chick flicks, I heart them.

Confessions of a Shopaholic was surprisingly good. Really funny. Romantic. Touching at times. With an incredibly cute male lead. And that sexy British accent.... mmmmm. I like Isla Fisher too.. she is a natural comedian, very cute and sassy. Liked her in Definitely, Maybe as well.

Anywhos, it was good. I totally forgot about potentially ending up being a loser haha.

Today the President of my company presented me with a designation I achieved recently. The presentation was at 9:00am.

I was so afraid that I would be late for the presentation (as I have been arriving to work around 9:15 to 9:30 for the past 2 months) that I woke up a couple of times in the middle of night. Lol. I mean, gawd, can you imagine how bad I would look if I were late? Lol.

Anyway, I was way too early for my presentation. Got to work around 8:30am >< Oh well, no such thing as a free lunch... so I left work early today haha.

Boy, I'm gonna miss the perks of working in Canada. lol.

I told my co-workers that in Malaysia, you have to submit a photograph of yourself when applying for a job. They thought it was ridiculous, because really, globally it was an unethical practice and is considered employment discrimination.

But like I told my co-workers, there is no law in Malaysia.

They wonder why I am considering going back for good.

Sometimes I wonder why too. Haha.

But I don't hold that thought for long. Whenever I think about everything that I am trading in and everything that I am getting in return for, I think it is well worth it.

Time spent with loved ones is precious and priceless. Especially time spent with my parents, who have sacrificed so much for my well-being and happiness.

I want to be there for them. When they need me, I want to be there. I don't want to just spend the last few minutes at their deathbed hearing their last wishes. When I could have all the time in the world to listen to them, to be with them, to tell them how much they mean to me, to say I love you.

So.. in conclusion, I can't wait to go back!! Have to start working on all the stuff I gotta do before I leave!!!

><

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